struggling

its been a bad week. ive struggled... all week. as a mom, as a wife, as a woman and as Brigid. 3 kids is HARD. and i dont know if it is 3 kids or MY 3 kids. I go to bed everynight feeling like i have failed. and dreading the next day, hell even dreading going to bed THAT night, in fear that my kids will keep me up, ill get no rest and have to go into the next day already pissed off. i dont like this place that i am in. im not sure what the solution is... i have so many feelings and emotions and its all too much to try and put into words. my desire/want/goal is to be a good mom and ENJOY my kids and i just feel SOOOO far away from that place right now.